Have you ever had one of these moments where you feel incredibly sad but also relieved?
This is how I feel right now.
I brought my gorgeous mare to her retirement home today.
It's a great place where loved and well cared for horses come to live in peace. She walked off the trailer and into her new home with a serenity and a calmness I have seldom experienced.
It was with a sense of great relief that I watched her walk off confidently and happily into her new home; relieved at her acceptance, relieved at knowing everything is going to be OK.
The sadness comes from knowing that I have closed the last chapter (for the time being) on my life with horses. Family commitments and too little time have meant that, for now, horses are a thing of the past.
It's a strange feeling knowing that something you have worked so hard with for so many years, with a passion and a devotion you never suspected you possessed , should have no more room in your life.
Rugs, blankets, bandages, wraps, grooming kits, shampoos, potions, bridles, saddles, numnahs, ropes, head collars, boots, medication, girths, all are packed away safely hoping to see the light of day again. A symbol of a deep hope maybe...
I once read this quote by Mary Beth Danielson: "If growing up is the process of creating ideas and dreams about what life should be, then maturity is letting go again."I feel she really hits the nail on the head.
Horses were my dream, my life and all that this entails.
Now life has asked me to show maturity and let go.
This chapter of my life is well and truly out to pasture.